Yesterday Emily and I wandered into a local “toy store.” Emily is a really good friend, and a little shy, which is one reason I went along. Another is that it’s just fun! The salesperson was really good, and took time to describe attributes of the various pleasure devices.

“And this one can even be triggered via Bluetooth on your phone,” she said.

“There’s an app for that?!” I asked, incredulous.

We laughed.

Imagine if your partner had the app on his (or her) phone, and decided to tease you over dinner at L’Escargot? Eventually the counter was covered with toys of different shapes and sizes and textures and vibrations. Each had various buzzes and pulses. Some were too fast, others were too slow.

Eventually the sales person looked at Emily and said, “Try it on the tip of your nose. It’s the same ‘skin.’ ”

Emily looked at me and said “I need just another minute to let all this sink in.” She found a place on her wrist, instead. The sales person was just perfect, and could give lessons to the last ten waiters I’ve experienced and most of the staff at any department store. She was knowledgeable, engaged, and personable without being personal.

Eventually Emily settled on one that will probably make her happy. It’s much smaller and more versatile than the back massager she had been using surreptitiously while married, and then divorced, as if female masturbation and orgasm needed to be accidental.

Yes, I believe there is a such a thing as “vibrator desensitization.” At the same time, when we want a good orgasm, and Tom Dick and Harry aren’t around, (or Samantha, Carrie and Leslie for those who prefer same-sex touch) then a toy can be a handy friend. If desensitization occurs, then have friend of your choice help with toy next time the occasion comes up.

If they object on “moral” grounds or because they’re “not comfortable,” you have something that probably needs to be discussed.

The choice is yours. It’s all good.

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